Laura S. Blackman Explores The Importance Of Coming to Grips With Both Fear And Trust In A Marriage


Are you or someone you know in a relationship or marriage which is just not healthy anymore for you or your family? Are you curious as to what your rights are and what the law is in Florida regarding divorce? What are negotiable issues and what are the non-negotiable issues when determining to stay in a broken or unhealthy relationship or marriage? The most common issues in my cases are addictions, infidelity, hidden finances, abuse, and social media deceit. There is one common thread in all these “deal breakers” and that is lack of TRUST.

So how do you define a “deal breaker?” You cannot control or change someone’s behavior or actions. If you have a spouse who is emotionally or physically abusive, has addiction or financial issues, has committed infidelity or criminal actions or has been deceitful on social media, you must decide if it is a “deal breaker” for you. It is so difficult to leave a marriage and family unit and many choose to remain in a dysfunctional, unhealthy relationship. You are worthy of not having these destructive issues in your life and your children’s lives, but perhaps fear has kept you trapped.

TRUST vs. FEAR is huge in any relationship. During my initial consultation with a client, I always ask them if they trust their spouse? If they say yes, I often inform and advise them about post-nuptial agreements, counseling or a life coach to help repair their marriage. However, most of the time the trust is already gone and the marriage is damaged beyond repair. I advise my clients that usually once the trust is no longer there, the foundation of the marriage is destroyed. You all are worthy of having a relationship filled with trust and respect. The alternative to not facing your fears is to continue in your life with the fear in your head and keeping the TRUST in your heart dormant and hidden. Don’t listen to the fear … trust your heart.

How do you face your fear? It’s so difficult to do as it is quite common to worry about the financial and emotional repercussions to you and your family unit if you choose to end your marriage. You may feel as if you are not worthy and your self love is lost. You may feel outside pressure from family and friends to stay or to leave, which may cloud your decision-making process. However, you are worthy of a better life, and once you make the decision and declare it and face your fears, your life will change for the better.

There may not be any issues of abuse, addictions, finances, infidelity, criminal actions or deceit on social media; you may be one of the unique marriages where you have just fallen out of love and still trust your spouse. If so, perhaps collaborative law and amicable divorce is for you. However, you may be one of the many who requires a legal consultation to discuss your specific family dynamic and circumstances in order to determine what is in the best interest for you and your children. Getting legal advice on your rights and the law is so important as “knowledge is power.”

It is difficult to end a broken marriage or relationship but then one day you have an “Aa-Ha” moment when you realize that with this obstacle, there is a true opportunity to be happy and to find a relationship with self-love, respect and TRUST. It is then that the true gift is shown to you to learn who you are, who you want to be and what you want for your life and your children’s lives. Feel worthy … life is short …TRUST your judgment to know what is healthy and functional for you and your family. Face your fears with the support system and legal team that you TRUST. There is a very rewarding and beautiful life after divorce.