Boca Family Law Attorney Helps Her Clients Find Balance In Their Lives

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Family law attorney Laura S. Blackman is a caring listener, a creative thinker and an effective problem solver helping clients navigate the challenging divorce process as smoothly as possible.

“I care about my clients and understand their fears about their future,” says Blackman, who has more than 20 years of experience in marital and family law, including the collaborative law approach to resolving parental and financial issues without excessive stress on the family.

“I believe that knowledge is power,” she adds. “If a husband or wife is contemplating divorce, I will discuss the issues and explain their rights and the nuances of Florida law.” 

In keeping with her personalized law practice, Blackman stays in close touch with her clients and is always available if there is a domestic violence incident or an emergency after hours. Along with her dedicated staff, Blackman has compiled a dream team of therapists, forensic accountants, mortgage brokers and other professionals who assist her clients in finding balance in their lives.

Along with divorce matters, Blackman has extensive experience in drafting pre- and post-nuptial agreements and handling post-judgment custody and financial issues after a divorce.

A longtime resident of Boca Raton, she is a competitive tennis player; a hot yoga practitioner; and a single mom with three college-age and adult children: Max, Alexa and Jack.

Blackman is also an active philanthropist, raising funds for the Sylvester Comprehensive Cancer Center at the University of Miami through The Pap Corps chapter at St. Andrews Country Club, which was founded by her parents, Elayne and Richard Blackman, more than 15 years ago. On Dec. 14, The Pap Corps chapter is hosting a casino night to support Sylvester’s research.

Blackman is also a board member for The March of the Living and the Associated Kristallnacht Film Forum on Nov. 10. Proceeds from the event support the March of the Living Fund, providing local scholarships for junior and senior high school students to travel to Poland and Israel on a life-changing journey.

Reflecting on her practice, Blackman says: “I really try to save the family unit during the difficult divorce process. I also encourage my clients to set aside their fears, even for a moment, and live each day to the fullest with the people they love.”

Laura S. Blackman Discusses Online Perils In Relationships

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ONLINE PERILS

Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Tinder, Jswipe, and the list goes on and on … Social networks have popped up all over the Web. Social media is a daily routine in our society and the interaction is dramatically changing the way people communicate with one another. “Flirting” in texts, tweets, Facebook and the numerous online dating sites have become a huge disruption in relationships and marriages. Some would agree, as do I, these seemingly harmless interactions via text messages or on social media when in a committed relationship or marriage is emotional cheating. If your online or digital behavior is such that your partner would be “uncomfortable” with, then perhaps you should think twice before pressing the “SEND” button. Has social media and smart phones helped or hurt your relationships or marriage?

I can tell you that this issue is prevalent in most of my cases and more often than not, may lead to a messy divorce.

Social media is such a huge part of our society that many couples are now including a social media clause in their Prenuptial Agreements. A Prenuptial Agreement is an agreement that is entered into before the marriage and is effective on the date of the marriage. While the Agreement addresses how the parties shall treat their existing and future property, it can also address the parties expectations during the marriage, separation and post dissolution.

Why is this clause important? Because it addresses how and what information could be posted and shared in the social media world we live in … negative, insulting, embarrassing photos, images or other contemptuous content would not be permitted and could have dire consequences on the violating party. Many clients now end up in my office after online cheating has surfaced and reconnections from prior relationships are made.

So what is a person who wants to continue to enjoy connecting in a healthy and functional way in the social media world to do, if they are in a committed relationship or marriage? Are you in a love/hate relationship with Facebook? As much as one claims to hate Facebook, the fear of missing out is just stronger. Does this social media platform make you feel good when you get a “LIKE” on your “POST?” If you are part of the social media world and wish to not unravel your relationship or marriage perhaps you should consider picking up the phone before you text, as often the texts are taken out of context, and ask yourself if your online behavior may be upsetting to your partner (while having a huge impact on your life) and perhaps you will think twice before hitting the “SEND” button.

The hacking of the Ashley Madison website, wherein data was stolen from the infidelity dating site, has also created a surge of new clients filing for divorce. Suspicious spouses scour all social media sites their spouses may have used which may lead to breakdowns in marriages or to some, very difficult conversations. Attorneys now regularly obtain incriminating information online. Remember, anything shared digitally throughout the social media world we now live in will follow you … forever.

Laura S. Blackman Explores The Importance Of Coming to Grips With Both Fear And Trust In A Marriage

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TRUST VS. FEAR: WHEN ENOUGH IS ENOUGH

Are you or someone you know in a relationship or marriage which is just not healthy anymore for you or your family? Are you curious as to what your rights are and what the law is in Florida regarding divorce? What are negotiable issues and what are the non-negotiable issues when determining to stay in a broken or unhealthy relationship or marriage? The most common issues in my cases are addictions, infidelity, hidden finances, abuse, and social media deceit. There is one common thread in all these “deal breakers” and that is lack of TRUST.

So how do you define a “deal breaker?” You cannot control or change someone’s behavior or actions. If you have a spouse who is emotionally or physically abusive, has addiction or financial issues, has committed infidelity or criminal actions or has been deceitful on social media, you must decide if it is a “deal breaker” for you. It is so difficult to leave a marriage and family unit and many choose to remain in a dysfunctional, unhealthy relationship. You are worthy of not having these destructive issues in your life and your children’s lives, but perhaps fear has kept you trapped.

TRUST vs. FEAR is huge in any relationship. During my initial consultation with a client, I always ask them if they trust their spouse? If they say yes, I often inform and advise them about post-nuptial agreements, counseling or a life coach to help repair their marriage. However, most of the time the trust is already gone and the marriage is damaged beyond repair. I advise my clients that usually once the trust is no longer there, the foundation of the marriage is destroyed. You all are worthy of having a relationship filled with trust and respect. The alternative to not facing your fears is to continue in your life with the fear in your head and keeping the TRUST in your heart dormant and hidden. Don’t listen to the fear … trust your heart.

How do you face your fear? It’s so difficult to do as it is quite common to worry about the financial and emotional repercussions to you and your family unit if you choose to end your marriage. You may feel as if you are not worthy and your self love is lost. You may feel outside pressure from family and friends to stay or to leave, which may cloud your decision-making process. However, you are worthy of a better life, and once you make the decision and declare it and face your fears, your life will change for the better.

There may not be any issues of abuse, addictions, finances, infidelity, criminal actions or deceit on social media; you may be one of the unique marriages where you have just fallen out of love and still trust your spouse. If so, perhaps collaborative law and amicable divorce is for you. However, you may be one of the many who requires a legal consultation to discuss your specific family dynamic and circumstances in order to determine what is in the best interest for you and your children. Getting legal advice on your rights and the law is so important as “knowledge is power.”

It is difficult to end a broken marriage or relationship but then one day you have an “Aa-Ha” moment when you realize that with this obstacle, there is a true opportunity to be happy and to find a relationship with self-love, respect and TRUST. It is then that the true gift is shown to you to learn who you are, who you want to be and what you want for your life and your children’s lives. Feel worthy … life is short …TRUST your judgment to know what is healthy and functional for you and your family. Face your fears with the support system and legal team that you TRUST. There is a very rewarding and beautiful life after divorce.

Control Your Own Destiny Without Court

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Are you are contemplating divorce but worried about spending all of your marital assets on attorneys fees? Are you fearful of your financial future? Are you sad at the loss of your family unit and fear destroying your family in the process of a publicly litigated divorce? Do you want privacy for your financial and family affairs during your divorce? Do you feel there is a power imbalance between you and your spouse? If you answered yes to any of these questions and wish to control your own destiny by breaking the cycle of conflict, you should learn more about collaborative divorce.

Collaborative divorce is a cost-effective voluntary process that can minimize the impact of conflict on you and your children. Both husband and wife are represented by collaboratively trained family lawyers who work together to help you and your spouse agree on joint decisions that are necessary in order to have your marriage dissolved without the financial and emotional cost that usually occurs during protracted family law litigation. The parties are in control of their own destiny and define their mutual and separate goals, interests and needs with the help of a “dream team.” This allows husband and wife to develop creative ways to stay out of the courtroom and still negotiate a fair and equitable and private divorce settlement.

Divorce can be a destructive process. Did you know that only 10 percent of family law cases go to trial? However, a significant number of litigated family law cases have numerous motions, hearings and depositions which dramatically increases the attorney fees and costs thereby reducing the marital assets for the family.

Collaborative divorce is a voluntary process and either party can leave if they want. However, 90 percent of cases that start collaboratively remain collaborative until final judgment of dissolution of marriage. Collaborative Law is a healthier process for the parties and the children. Your “dream team” will consist of collaboratively trained professionals who will support you emotionally and legally as well as guide and inform you financially through this process. You are in control, not a Judge, to make those critically important long-lasting decisions for you and your family. The results are legally binding agreements, which dissolve the marriage and all issues pertaining to your family.

One of the most important aspects of a collaborative divorce is to remember that neither attorney may use the court system during the case for any reason except to ratify the agreement which the parties sign into a final judgment of divorce. Both parties initially sign a participation agreement whereby they agree that there will be no court involvement in their divorce. In litigated divorce cases, Judges must follow rules, statutes and the law and there is very little room for creativity by the Judge. In collaborative family law cases, creativity and “thinking outside of the box” is prevalent in order to amicably resolve important family issues that are in the best interests for your family’s future.

The collaborative process preserves your privacy and your dignity while giving you the power to resolve your divorce issues respectfully without destroying the family. Why would you choose to litigate when you can collaborate, protect your family’s privacy and not destroy your family unit? If you are contemplating divorce and wish to avoid difficult and expensive court battles, focus on protecting the well-being and needs of your children and prevent the court from making decisions about your family and your future, the collaborative law process may be a perfect fit for you and your family during this most difficult time in your lives.

Laura S. Blackman Pens Article For “Simply The Best” Magazine On The Topic Of Dating During Divorce

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DATING DURING DIVORCE

Are you or someone you know recently single and catapulted into the dating world again? Are you separated from your spouse and contemplating divorce and confused as to how to get back into the single world? Are you in the middle of a divorce proceeding and feel as if your world has completely changed from being part of a family unit to being a single parent and you wish to move on but find it difficult to juggle work, co-parenting and dating?

If so, continue reading and discover some helpful hints for dating during one of the most difficult transitions in your and your children’s lives. How do you date during this transition in your life?

The first rule is that the children always come first. Let me repeat that one more time … the children always come first! It is crucial that the children understand that both parents love them unconditionally and will always be their number one priority.

That being said … perhaps initially after making the decision to divorce and/or live in separate homes, it is a good idea to spend quality time with your children when you have them for your timesharing. There will be plenty of time to go out and play when your spouse has the kids.

Rule Number 2: Do not tell your children anything about your dating life. They are going through their own loss and transition as the family unit is fractured and they need consistency, structure and a strong parent.

There is no need for the children to be privy to texts or emails or telephone calls to your new exciting friend — it can only cause problems with your spouse when they report back to them about how happy you are in your new and improved life. Be discreet. Keep your children as your number one priority and remember there is life after divorce.

Rule Number 3: How to act when you are out playing in the single world? Your behavior and actions should always be appropriate; however, during a divorce proceeding your behavior may become part of your case if you are not careful and you allow certain inappropriate behavior and people into your world, which may not be in the best interests of your custody battle or contentious divorce proceeding.

Don’t drink excessively. Don’t think everyone out there is your close friend. You will find out quickly who your true friends are. Keep your circle tight, and don’t discuss your case with anyone unless you truly know and can trust them. Seeing your spouse out when you are on a date can only add fuel to the fire in your case, create havoc and exacerbate conflict in your life.

Be discreet in dating, take it slow and have fun.

What happens when you finally meet a person who you wish to spend time with and they also have children of similar ages? My opinion, and it’s only my opinion from my personal experience and my divorce practice, is that the person you will be dating during this most difficult time period in your life might or will probably be a very different person whom you will be dating one year after this nightmare is done.

So perhaps introducing your children to your dates may not be such a good idea as the kids may like one another more than you end up liking your date! Then the children get attached and feel another loss.

Rule Number 4: Social Media — Don’t post photos of your children on any dating sites. Repeat rule number 4 as many times as needed, and protect your children always. Be discreet on Facebook, Twitter and all other sites … is it really necessary to post where you are and who you are with during your divorce? I think not.

My private investigators utilize these sites often to find information and locations of spouses. What happens when you meet someone and you want to date them exclusively and you are on dating sites? What is “dating site etiquette?” Relationships have ended due to a person staying on a dating site a little too long.

A conversation about social media and dating sites should occur so that both parties are on the same page in this new and improved single world of dating. Enjoy your new found freedom, take it slow, protect your children, go play in an appropriate and respectful way and get divorced. Until next time … have more adventures, be around good energy, connect with people, and learn new things as life is short.